Materials Science:
After 2 and a half years studying Materials Science, materials science is kinda cool, I don't know if I see myself doing it in 10 years time or for the rest of my life. But I guess thats what coops for!
There also seems to be quite the discrepancy between academia and industry, like many other industries. I also find academia unfathomably bland, its like the textbook definition of boring to me. Here's interesting link about materials research. https://worksinprogress.co/issue/getting-materials-out-of-the-lab/
School:
I haven't been focusing much time into school this term. Why not just keep pursuing materials science and be a diligent student? I think it comes back to this question of, "is this something I see myself doing for the next X years of my life?" I'm not sure. I'm not against it, nor am I for it. The truth is, I haven't been extracting the most out of the last 20 years, and as a result I have not explored the intricacies of all these different fields. (insert p colluson) Quite the tragedy! I have not dove deep into any subject. Now that my little eyes have opened, I naturally want to explore. Hence the reason for my gap term in the summer. I need to dip my feet in to test the waters. Maybe its a little late to explore, i might be cooked.
I'm currently writing this after all my midterms, I've spent probably a total of 5-6 hours total in one course(PHYS280) and like 1o hours on my thermodynamics course(CHEM254). I still spend a decent chunk of time on quantum and my materials course (marginally more than the other two).
This time is including quizzes, lectures attended(just kidding I dont go to them they are at 8 fucking 30), assignments, midterm study, etc. I've got the midterm grades back for these recently, and they were quite tragic, both ended with 66%. I was honestly expecting higher grades, but I guess they are OK for the time spent. When I am studying for courses that I believe have no inherent value to me or to my future self, I feel like a headless chicken running around. Directionless and stupid.
I genuinely question why the hell am I wasting away time that I could be spending more productively elsewhere? The "correct" answer would be to get good grades, in hopes that those results translate into good jobs. But at the same time I do not think we are not in the era anymore where jobs send love letters over if you show them a degree. A big fuck you surprise from the adult world. It seems clear to me that the pipeline now goes more like, you need internships + projects. Emphasis on projects. How should we select what projects to work on? I think the sole purpose of projects shouldn't be to pad your resume to help you stand out for some specific jobs, sure you can do it for that purpose, and it may even yield better results than to work on what your truly passionate about, but at what sacrifice? In one of thiels talks, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdiMS3wrM2k,he suggests that we should look at the future on three horizons: short term, medium term, and long term. He defines them like this:
Short term: Are you going to happy and learn alot
Medium term: How good does it look on your resume?
Long term: Are you working on something important or meaningful?
Maybe you have to find a fine medium. at an intersection between your desires and what may boost the trajectory of your life. But I've realized that for me, manually settling for a medium brings quite a bit of apathy and dispassion.
Gap term:
I'll be taking a gap term for the next school term. It was supposed to be a coop term, but I decided preety early on that I wanted to spend time learning the things I want. At first glance it might seem like bold move, but if you think about what the risk is in doing this, you unravel the fact that, it really isn't much of a big decision, other than the fact that it deviates a little from the conventional linearity. The downsides I can think of is that I would probably delay graduation, and my heart would hurt a little more each time I open my bank account. Not too shabby! But then the biggest risk here is that, what if I don't use my time productively? This would be THE worst outcome, as everything would then be in vein. This is what I am most afraid of.
What will I even be doing? More reading, writing, thinking, with a touch of volleyball(Really want to try beach volleyball). But my life will mainly revolve around what I am building now. Its a mix between hardware and software. I'm already spending more time on this than I am on school right now, but I am in the baby steps phase where I am learning the high levels of everything and slowly going more in depth. But I think I can ramp it up ten folds. I'd like a functional prototype within a few months so I keep iterating from there. But that means that I would need to learn how to design a custom PCB that works, really solid firmware, bare bones for software and blah blah blah. I barely know any of these as of now, and I am hoping that to supercharge my learning these next few months. I don't know what the fuck is going on half of the time and am moving at turtle speed. I hope the pace of work starts picking up soon. It feels like trying to get a mini orchestra going with very dysfunctional instruments, where these instruments are the components of my brain. Maybe putting 12-14 hours a day will help clear this skill gap.
On a surface level its a simple device, but after diving in a little and talking to a couple of friends, theres quite alot of intricate engineering to do. Exciting!